Zelly-Boy's Birthday Surprise!!!
by Psyrin
Summary: It's Zell's 20th birthday!!!! Ma Dincht has planned a surprise party for him with the old gang from FFVIII. A strange tale with a little violence(naturally) and certain household items that aren't what they seem like.......rated PG for mild swearing.
1. Let the party begin!!

Zelly-Boy's Birthday Surprise!!

A supposedly humorous fic that was written by a rather bored, crazy girl.

I'm not going to bore you to tears about disclaimers and such, you KNOW I can't own Squaresoft….but how I dream…*sigh*

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It was a relatively warm day at Balamb, the hometown of Zell Dincht…

Sf: Just give me ONE damn reason to be here…Chicken Wuss doesn't need me at his damn party!!!

Ma Dincht had thought it would be a great idea to give her son a special 20th birthday by having a surprise party with all his old friends: Squall, agitated commander of Balamb Garden, Rinoa, the liberator of Timber, Selphie…uh, yeah, Selphie…Quistis, the hopeless SeeD instructor who LOST her appeal for her teaching license and Irvine…uh, yeah, him…Of course, there were others she had never met, but after tortur- I mean, after ASKING Seifer and co. (Currently living with her), she managed to get all their names.  

Rj: Ummm…Seifer, we ARE sort of Ma Dincht's tenants, ya know…after your whole obsession with the fishing (even though you CAN'T) and vowing to never leave until you catch a Balamb fish…we had to live here, ya know.

Fj: Yes. And since we ARE acquainted with Zell…we should attend as a favour for Ma Dincht. The way she tolerates you…it's surprising how she didn't develop a speech impediment, like me…*sigh* 

Sf: *slams down his fist*DAMMIT!!! There's no way we're going, you hear me?!?!?! Screw favours!!!

And that's how they all ended up in Zell's house at the appointed hour, waiting to greet the guests.

Sf: @&%*-

Fj: SEIFER!! Don't. push. it. 

Sf:*grumble*

Doorbell: DING DONG!!

Rj: Hey! I'll get it, ya know!!*opens door*

It was Rinoa. She seemed…a little messier. Her clothes were all in a disarray as she smiled at them.

Rn: Hi, everybody!! Oh, I didn't know YOU guys were coming!! I'm sorry, I was really busy this morning.

Sf: *looks at the state of her clothing* Yeah. REALLY busy.

Rn: *blushes* That's NOT what I meant!!! Zone and Watts wanted to have my inauguration this morning. 

Rj: What the hell??

Rn: Yeah…I'm a real princess now…Princess Rinoa of Timber…man, that town doesn't even NEED royalty…it's so small…and that dress was so ITCHY!!!

Sf: How interesting.

Rn: Well, what have you guys been doing??

Rj: Well, mister Almasy over there had been developing something like an obsession with fishing, ya know!! And then he spent so much time just fishing, we got bankru-OW!!!!!

Fj:*whistles innocently*

Sf: Okay, why don't I show you where your hiding spot is?? Zell's coming in at any minute.

Rn: Sure, Seifer.  

Sf: *cackle* Finally!! Another chance…Rinoa, you're mine!!

Rn: What did you say, Seifer??

Sf: Umm…nothing, Rinoa.

Rj: I'll help Ma Dincht with the food…*walks into kitchen*

Doorbell: DING DONG!!

Fj: MY turn!! *opens the door*

A bright yellow-clad figure bounced in stepping on Fuujin's toes as she came in.

Sp: HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI-(takes deep breath)-HIHIHIHIHIHI!!!! Fuujin!!

Fj: *winces* Had some chocolate recently, Selphie??

Sp: BOOYAKA!!!! SOOOOOO GOOD!!! How d'you know???

Fj: Figures. 

Sf: *comes in from other room rubbing a newly developed handprint on his face* Damn feminine sensitivity…..oh. It's messenger girl. Hey, Selphie.

Sp: HIHIHIHIHIHIHHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI-(takes deep breath)-HIHIHIHIHI!!! Seifer!!

Sf: Had some chocolate recently, Selphie??

Sp: CHOCOLATE CHOCO-EGGS!! YUMMY YUMMY!!! How d'you know???

Sf: You're not acting like you're sugar-hyper or adrenaline-hyper. The only option left is chocolate.

Sp: Oooooooooooo….so smart.

Rj: *comes in from kitchen* Did someone just come in??

Sp: HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI-(takes deep breath)-HIHIHIHI!!!! Raijin!!

Rj: Had some chocolate recently, Selphie???

Sp: YEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAH!!!! How d'you know??

Rj: It happened that time with the truffles as well. 

Sp: Oooooooooooo…truffles!! 

Rj: Tell you what, we'll hide you before Zell gets here. That way, you can eat these!! *gives Selphie a small bag of sweets LOADED with sedatives*

Sp: YAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAYYAY!!! *follows Raijin to other room*

Sf+Fj: Thank goodness…

Doorbell: DING DONG!!

Sf: Hmmm…now who's the next victim??

It was Quistis. Or a SeeD that looked like she had a huge hangover…   

Q: Hey. *rubs head*

Sf: Hey there, Quistis. What happened to you? You look so damn depressed. Didn't you find a new jo-

Q: NOOO!!!! DON'T SAY THAT!!! I…I…LOVED being an instructor…how could they sack me?!?! *sob*

Fj: *jabs Seifer in the ribs* You STUPID!! *whispers* Why d'you have to mention that?!?!? Don't you remember that she lost all her self-esteem and became an alcoholic???

Sf: Well…I haven't seen her in three years!! How was I suppose to know she was so damn messed up!!

Fj: It was in the newspaper, Squall phoned you about it, reporters came after you for interviews…

Sf: Alright, alright!! *To Quistis* Why don't you go hide in the other room while we wait for Zell?

Q: With some brandy??

Sf: NO!!*drags Quistis into the other room*

Doorbell: DING DONG!!

Rj:*emerges from other room with some new chocolate stains on his shirt* Selphie, man…oh, I'll get it!!!!!

E: Oh, hi, Raijin. How are you???

Rj: You?? The SORCERESS?!?!?!?!

E: Ummm…no. I gave all those powers to Rinoa. I can still do a little magic, though.

Rj: I see. Hmmm…CID KRAMER'S WIFE?!?!?!?!

E: Yes. 

Rj: Okay. Man, you look SCARY…

E: *Levitates Raijin* Remember how I can still do a little magic???

Rj: AHH!!!! Y-Y-Yes!! *Falls back onto ground* Phew.*Wriggles farther from Edea*

E: Thanks a lot. Being an evil  sorceress means you have to look a certain way, and since I've been evil for a long time, I'm stuck with that kind of fashion sense.  

Rj: Weird…sorry about the scary part, Mrs. Kramer. You look okay.

E: Th-

Rj: I meant BEAUTIFUL!!! NOT OKAY, BEAUTIFUL!!! PLEASE, DON'T KILL ME!!!

E: Okaayy…*eyes Raijin* Thank you for the compliment. I'll go show myself into the other room.

Rj: P-P-P-Please do, ma'm!!*watches Edea leave the room*

To be continued….

Please R+R!!! If I get 5 reviews, I'll post up the rest of this fic. 

-Psyrin


	2. And the guests keep coming...

Zelly-Boy's Birthday Surprise!!!-Part 2 

Yay!!! I got 5+ reviews!!! *jumps up and down in joy* Thank you!!!! It's nice to know people like my writing…and here's your second part of the fic!! I know I haven't added Squall in yet, but he's in this part. I also don't have anything against Quistis OR Raijin. I like ALL of the FF8 characters, it's just that I've never seen ANY of them portrayed as an alcoholic and Raijin just has a fear of sorceresses. 

Having gotten that over with, I'll leave you to read the content below… 

Enjoy!!

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Doorbell: DING DONG!!!

Rj: I am NOT getting this one!!! *Shivers*

Fj: Fine. I'll go.

It was Irvine, the ladies man. Looking a LITTLE shaken, though…

I: QUICK!!! Letmeinletmeinletmeinletmein !!!! 

Fj: *looks at Irvine strangely* Oooookay…..What's wrong with you, Irvine???

I: N-Nothing's wrong me…nobody's chasing me because I didn't show up at a date…nobody…NOBODY…*fumbles nervously with something in his pocket…*

Fj: Right…so how have you been doing?

I: *rocks back and forth* Juuuuuust fine…yes Irvy, NO ONE's out to get you…yes…just my imagination…

Fj: Of course…why don't you go hide in the other room and wait for Zell with the others?

I: Yes!! Hiding is very very good!!! Euh……are there WOMEN in that room???

Fj: Quistis, Selphie, Edea and Rinoa are in there…

I: EEEK!! Save me!!! *jumps behind the umbrella stand and quivers some more* 

Fj: Don't worry, Irvine…I'm sure they're nice. 

I: They're……NICE??? As in, not going to smash my head open???

Fj: Yes……why I don't I take you in there???

I: Oh, thank you, THANK YOU!!!*gets up from behind the umbrella stand* Um, I was just wondering…are YOU a WOMAN too??

*SLAP*

Fj: @#$^@#*#$@!!!! *drags Irvine into the other room*

Doorbell: DING DONG!!  Man…this job is boring….

Rj: Oh, the doorbell…*pales*The possibility of MORE sorceresses…*hides*

Doorbell: *waits a bit* I said, 'DING DONG.' *getting irritated* SOMEONE COME AND GET THE DOOR, MAN!!! I DON'T GET PAID IF YOU DON'T KNOW SOMEONE'S HERE!!!!!

Rj: Yikes!!* Curls into a little ball*

Doorbell: ARGGH!!! I'll come in to get you, Raijin, because I KNOW you're hiding behind the couch!!! You BETTER come and answer the door!!! 

Rj: *whimpers*

Doorbell: That's IT!!!! *runs in and starts bashing Raijin like crazy*

Sq: Fine, I'll let myself in. *walks inside to watch the doorbell man and Raijin duke it out*

Doorbell: I get paid almost NOTHING!! NOTHING!!! Sure, all I do is announce when someone's at the door, but a person has to EAT!!!! I'm NOT some machine…I have feelings too!!! *sobs but continues to beat Raijin*

Rj: ACK! OW! OOF!! EEK!! AAAHHHHHH!!!!!

Sq: How interesting. *turns around to see Seifer*

Sf: …Squall.

Sq: …Seifer. *jerks his head towards the fight* What's going on??

Sf: Oh. That doorbell guy is kind of insane. Ma Dincht pitied him, so she appointed him the doorbell guy. He's not bad, but he tends to lose any manner of rational thinking when Raijin's around.

Sq: …Whatever. 

Sf: Is that ALL you say??? 

Sq: *shrugs* Whatever. I'll go wait in the other room…*walks off into the other room* __

Sf:  That Squall…DAMN his stupid cockiness. *hears something and looks at the door* Who's there??

Big Bad Rascal: *Peers in from the entrance* Hi!!!! Where's Zell?? I'd ring Doorbell, but he looks busy. *Motions at the now airborne Raijin*

Sf: Oh. We're holding a party for him, so why don't you come and wait for him with the others??

BBR: Sure. Oh, is my girlfriend allowed in too?? 

A Balamb student comes closer.

Balamb Student: Hi!!! I'm Bertha. 

Sf: Go ahead..

BBR: Come on, Bertha!! *starts walking in*

BS: Wait for me, Dwayne!!!*disappears with the Big Bad Rascal*

Sf: DWAYNE????? No wonder that kid has to be tough.

Two mysterious figures in cloaks: *appears in the doorway* We're here…

Fj: Huh??? You two?? Why are you guys here?? You don't belong…

MF #1: We have something for Zell…

MF #2: …Since it's his 20th birthday.

Fj: What??? *looks at them again*….Oh…I KNEW IT!!…so how d'you get here???

MF #1: We have our ways…

Fj: Fine, come this way, then. Zell should be home soon. *leads the two people into the other room*

Meanwhile…

Z: Hmmm…isn't this boring???

Zell is sitting with Cid by the docks, talking.

Ci: Well…I've actually brought you here for a reason, Zell…

Z: Finally!!! You've taken me all over town today for nothing!!! Are you HIDING something??

Ci: Well…yes…

Z: HAHA!! I knew it. 

Ci: But how……

Z: Well…I mean, you could tell by just looking at you…

Ci: *chuckles* Well, I'm not the greatest liar, now, am I?

Z: Of course!! And don't worry, Cid, I'll support your liposuction ALL the way…

*BASH*

Ci: Grrrrr……that was NOT the right answer!!!!

Z: *no reply*

*ahem* So, the former Headmaster drags Zell back home, while everybody is hiding…

To be Continued….

NOTE: To anyone with the name 'Dwayne', I mean no offence. Also, expect the third part to be up soon!!


	3. The Arrival of our Birthday Boy!!

Zelly-Boy's Birthday Surprise!!! –Part 3 

If you're reading this, that means you like this!!! YAY! Well, just to remind you about that disclaimer that I don't own FFVIII in any way…*sobs*…but I still have Doorbell…

Enjoy!

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Ma Dincht: FIND A SPOT, EVERYBODY!!!! I SEE CID COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone else: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Everyone panics, looking for a place to hide. So it ends up that: Rinoa hides in the TV screen (she's a REAL sorceress) , Selphie on the rafters(!!!), Quistis in the liquor cabinet(!!!!!!), Edea in the wall (???),  Irvine in the large trash bin (his trusty rifle's nozzle sticking out in case any women come close), Squall under the desk, the Big Bad Rascal and his girlfriend in the closet(!!!!!!!!!!!!), the two mysterious figures by the jacket stand-y thing, Fuujin on the shelf(!!!!!!), Raijin behind the couch and Seifer behind under the coffee table. Ma Dincht herself would be waiting for him in the kitchen. Doorbell, having gotten over his period of insanity, watches for the birthday boy.

Doorbell: *DING- Wait a second!!

Ma Dincht: What is it now?!?!?!?

Doorbell: I see CID, but no…oh, yes, NOW I see him…

Ma Dincht: Where?!?!? WHERE?!?!? I'm just so EXCITED…

Doorbell: He's being dragged by Cid here…he seems very uncomfortable, but conscious.

Ma Dincht: That's good. If he wasn't conscious, I'd bash him for making my surprise go to waste!!!!!

Doorbell: *sweatdrop* Yes. Go into the kitchen!! Cid's almost here!!!

Ma Dincht rushes into the kitchen as Cid approaches the door.

Ci: Hey there, Doorbell. Here he is.

Z: Oh, it's…Doorbell?? 

Doorbell: Yes, Zell. How are you feeling??

Z: Not bad…I thought Cid needed liposu--

*BAM*

Doorbell: I see…well, into to the house before you lose consciousness again.

Z: *vision blurs* ugh…yeah…

Ci: Let's go, Zell!! *Whistles a cheery tune* 

The two enter the house and…

Everybody: SURPRISE!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ZELL!!!!

Z: ACK! *goes unconscious*

Ci: My…MY HEART!!! *slumps to the ground*

Everyone:…….

Sl: Oooooooooooo……look at Cid!!! …He's turning….blue???

Rj: Quick!!! We gotta revive them, ya know!!!

*Rinoa casts the magic and both men wake up*

Z: Owwww…oh, hi guys. What just happened??? Why are you here??

Sq: It's your surprise birthday party. Ma Dincht invited us all.

Z: Wow!! Thanks, ma!!!

Ma Dincht: Don't worry, Zell. Enjoy yourselves. Besides, I like meeting your friends…*looks at Cid with a strange look*

E: *sees Ma Dincht, scowls and walks over to Cid* Oh, HONEY!! Are you alright??? Do you remember me??? 

Ci: Yeah, you're-

E: YOUR WIFE!!! See, I'M…YOUR…WIFE!!! *smiles back at pouting Ma* Thank GOODNESS you're okay…are you sure you want to stay at this party??? You know…we could get you a nice, PRIVATE room at the inn…I don't mind AT ALL, staying with you.

By this time, Ma is little red in the face.

Ci: Don't worry, dear. I can make it.

E: Fine. But I'll help you walk around, DARLING *looks at Ma again*, just so you won't hurt yourself.

Ci: Um…okay.

E: Then it's settled!! *smirks at  Ma*

Ma Dincht: GGRRRRR-

Rn: Hey, Mrs. Dincht, why don't we start this party?? 

Ma Dincht: Oh, yes…the party…

*Screaming, joy and dancing (60% of the activities mentioned were performed by Selphie) ensues in the quiet little house*

An hour into the party…

Z: Hey…Ma???

Ma Dincht: *still watching Edea and Cid* oh, what??? Sorry Zell, what were you saying?

Z:  There's something wrong with the closet…it's moving. 

Ma Dincht: That's nonsense, Zell!! Why would- uh oh.

Z: What?? Tell me, Ma, TELL ME!!!

Ma Dincht: Why don't I just show you…*walks over to the closet*

Ma Dincht flings open the door of the closet to reveal…

BBR: H-Hey!!! 

Balamb Student: Eek!!!

The two are caught with SOMETHING in their hands…

Ma Dincht: WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN THE CLOSET?!?!?!?!?

To Be Continued…

NOTE: SUSPENSE!! Oooooo……can you feel it??? Don't worry, I'd NEVER turn this fic into NC-17…stay tuned!!!


	4. The Weirdness Continues...

Zelly-Boy's Birthday Surprise!!! –Part 4 

YAY!!!! Part 4!!!! If anybody's still reading, R+R!!! I'd like to know what you think of my attempt at humour. Well, on to more important things…

Enjoy!!!

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BBR: Well…

Balamb Student: …we were trying out this new gel we bought from a peddler for Zell…

BBR: …and it was glow-in-the-dark. So we wanted to try it out to see if it would work…

Balamb Student: …it worked TOO well. We were having so much fun with it…

BBR: …that we got some on the closet. *nudges at the glowing clothes, walls, hangers and…erm…other stuff.*   

Balamb Student: Anyway, we were trying to clean it up …

BBR: …but it WON'T come off!!! Sorry, Ma…

Ma Dincht: That does it!!! I knew that gel would cause trouble!!!

BBR: How?? 

Ma Dincht: Didn't you read the label?? *points to gel bottle*

The label reads:

NEW!!! All the way from ESTHAR!!!!

It's…

BILLY BOB'S NEW CURSED HAIR GEL!!!!!!!

BRINGS TROUBLE INTO THE LIFE OF THE OWNER!!! TRICK YOUR FRIENDS!! YOUR ENEMIES!!!

IT CAN EVEN TURN ON YOU!!!!

*NOTE* Label changes after the cap has been broken to fool sane people into buying this tra- err…I mean, our product and rub it their faces. HAHAHA!! You loser!!! You bought this!!!

BBR: HEY!!! It didn't read THAT when I bought it…

Balamb Student: Why don't you read the note, Dwayne???

BBR: Oh yeah…*whips out a magnifying glass*

The little note says:

 Label "magically" changes after the cap has been broken to fool sane people into buying this tra- err…I mean, our product and rub it their faces. HAHAHA!! You loser!!! You bought this!!!

Ma Dincht: Just where DID you get this???

BBR: *sob* I got it all the way from Deling City!!!!

Balamb Student: *pats the Big Bad rascal* There, there, Dwayne. Everybody gets tricked by street peddlers from time to time, you know…

Ma Dincht: Um…that's never happened to me.

Z: Or me.

Sl: Or me!!  

E: Or me

I: Or me. 

Rj: Or me.

Fj: Or me.

Sq: Or m-

Balamb Student: Oh, shut up!!! You're NOT making this any better.

Sq: Whatever.

BBR: *wailing* Not even RAIJIN!!!

Rj: Yea- HEY!!!!

Balamb Student: It's okay, Dwayne….why don't we just go back to your place, clean you up, go to Deling City, find and beat THE CRAP any peddler we see??

BBR: *sniffs* O-O-Okay…

Balamb Student: *bows to everyone* Sorry, we have to leave early. I hope you guys have a great party. Happy Birthday, Zell!!! See you, Commander !!

Sq: When will you two be back?? Deling's quite a distance away…

Balamb Student: *whispers* I don't think we'll be back for about a week…I've never seen him this angry.  If we stay for more than a week, we'll report to Galbadia Garden. 

Sq: Alright. Just notify me before you get there so I can write you an authorization.

Balamb Student: Thanks!!! *drags BBR out the door* 

Everybody: *stares*

Z: Well, that reminds me…

Rn: What?? *gasp* Oh no!!!! I have to get to Timber!!! I can't believe I forgot!!!

Sq: Is something wrong, Rinoa??? Tell me!!!! I'll always be here for you … 

Sf: Yeah, especially when Squall wants some lov-  

*POW*

Sq: Grr…

Sf: …Damn…Squall…*collapses*

Rn: Stop it, you two !!!! *blushing* Well…it's not that serious…

Sl: Well??? Just tell us!! I wanna know!!

Ci: Yes, I'm interested to know what's happening back in Timber…

Rn: *mutters something*

Fj: *standing next to her and hears* WHAT?!?!? *stares at Rinoa*

Rn: Fuujin!!!! 

I: Uh-oh. A woman is getting angry. *runs to hide in the houseplant* 

Z: Yeah, Rinoa. Spit it out, man!

Rn: You know about how I liberated Timber?? A year ago??

E: Yes, using your sorceress powers…I remember…so many soldiers…squealing like pigs…*cackles quietly*

Rn: Err….right. Well, they decided to name that day after their liberator…

Rj: A RINOA DAY???? *stares at her*

Rn: …And they really wanted me to be there for the festivities this afternoon; so much that they actually tried to lock me up today  and keep me from coming…

Sq: …THOSE BASTARDS!!!! I'LL KI-

Rn: Squall!!! 

Sq: Grrr…..

Fj: Hyne…those obsessive people…

Rn: *blushing furiously* Right, so I have to leave now….sorry about leaving early, Zell Oh, here's your present. I hope you like it. *hands Zell something*

Z: Yeah... *still staring*

Rn: Bye guys!!! *flies off (she IS a sorceress, ya know…) into the distance*

*silence*

Sf: Man….you think her being the PRINCESS of the town is weird enough…

Q: WHAT?!?!?!??!? Rinoa's a princess?!?!?!

Fj: Affirmative.

Q: Man…I feel so…unaccomplished…*runs back to the liquor cabinet*

Ma Dincht: Oh no you don't!!! I've only got five bottles left!!! *chases after her*

Z: *ahem* Now, back to where I remembered to do something…my presents!!!

MF #1: Yes…we have been waiting for that, Zell…

MF #2: Waiting…for so long…

Z: Euh…why???

MF #1: We're sorry it had to turn out this way…

MF #2: But you must know now…

MF #1&2: That…

*cloaks are thrown off*

MF #1&2: We are your parents!!!!

To be Continued….

NOTE: Ooooo!!! Guess who they are!!!! I'll get Part 5 up within the week, I promise!!!


	5. The Interesting MFs REVEALED!!!*gasp*

Zelly-Boy's Birthday Surprise!!! –Part 5 

Wow……this is at Part 5. Never thought it'd be this long, but I'll probably finish up in the next part. Thanks for reading…

…and enjoy!!!!!

*silence*

Sq: But…but you're…

E: Cloud and Tifa of FF7!!!!

Cl: Yes…we were allowed to come here due to the mercy of our Squaresoft slave dr- I mean, friends. 

T: We thought that FF7 would fade after it was finished, into a mere title to be admired… 

Cl: So we arranged for one of our own flesh and blood to be put in as a playable character, to continue our involvement in the FF series…

T: When we found out the new characters, except for Rinoa, were all going to be orphans, we thought this was a chance too good to pass up. 

Cl: So…we left Zell in the care of Edea Kramer ever since…

Z: You KNEW, Matron?!?!?!?!?

E: Zell…Squaresoft would have written me out of FF8 if I didn't!!! You know, the pressure…

Cl: I'm so sorry, Zell.

T: You grew up to be a fine young man.

Sq: Well, I can see the resemblance…

Sf: So THAT'S why Chicken-Wuss uses gloves…*stares at Tifa* If only they had  a DAUGHTER instead…

T: Ummm…we did.

Rj: Aren't WE busy??? *wink* Ya know??

Fj: Right…who is your daughter???

Cl: …Garnet. 

Ci: OF FF9?!?!?!??!?!?

I(Still in the houseplant): Eeeeek!! More WOMEN!!! *quivers in the houseplant*

T: Yes, can't you tell she was adopted??? We were also negotiating about FF10…

Cl: But we failed. 

T: However, Rikku is Cloud's cousin…

Cl: So we are all linked. The FFs of PS and PS2.

Sl: Why????? Why d'you want that??? 

T: *ahem* You don't want to ask that. *whispers* Cloud's got a condition.

Sl: REALLY??? Ooooooooooo…Mister Strife, tell us why we can't ask you for the reason you're linking all the FFs!!!!!

T: SELPHIE!!!! *sighs* Too late. 

Cl: *cackle* My dear…why a silly thing to ask. But all questions deserve answers, so…

Sl: Yesyesyesyesyes????

Cl: Me…little old me…through hard work and dedication did I succeed in becoming a character, no, the MAIN character of what is thought of as a revolutionary RPG!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! * fails to notice everybody stepping away* MY LEGEND MUST LIVE ON!!!!!! IF **I** CANNOT BE IN EVERY FF GAME, A BIT OF ME WILL!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!

Ci: *panicky whisper* Somebody DO something!!! He doesn't look like he's even begun the REAL rant…*terrified of thought*

Cl: My childhood…I SACRIFICED SO MUCH!!! I……I…..HEY!!! WHAT'S HAPPENING?!?!?!?!?!?

Cloud mysteriously disappears into a small puff of smoke.

T: *sees everybody's shocked faces* Happens all the time when we visit Garnet. Sometimes those people at Squaresoft can be useful…Well, I'm really glad I got to see you Zell. If you want, come and visit us anytime!!! You're always welcome at my bar. Here's our present…enjoy!! *tosses a small package at Zell, waves and walks off*

Z: Bye. *turns to see Ma Dincht trying to hide by Irvine, who's STILL in the houseplant* MA!!! Did you know????

Ma Dincht: Well…I met them three years ago. They're really nice people…isn't it nice to know your parents, Zell???

Z: Well…guess so…and I get to see them…Tifa must have some really cool moves she could teach me…

Sf: And I'm sure Tifa could show ME a few of her moves too…*drools*

*POW*

Z: DISGUSTING, SEIFER!!! My BIOLOGICAL MOTHER!!! This bastard's hit a new low…

Sq: Whatever. Why don't we just open your presents now, Zell? Get this over with.

Z: Fine. *mutters* My MOTHER…no WAY Seifer's  going to be MY father…*shudders of the thought*

Sl: Ooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! ZELL!!! ZELL!!! ZELL!!!! OPEN MINE!!!!! *thrusts a badly damaged package in his face*

Z: Okay…*unwraps it* What the?? It's a…Furby???

Sl: YAHYAHYAHYAHYAH!!!!!!! Isn't it CUTE?????

Furby: Baba!!! Hungee!!! Wahhh!!!

Z: …yeah…

Furby: Hungee!!! Sleepy!!! Baba!!!!

Z: …very…nice, Selphie. Thanks.

Sl: YAYYAYYAYYAY!!! You DO like it!!! Because if you DON'T…*gets out a stick of dynamite and starts grinning like crazy* 

Z: Uhhh…Yes!! I LOVE it, Selphie…

Furby: BABA!!! BABA!!!! WAAAAHHHHH!!!!

Sl: WHEEEEEE!!!!!!! ZELLY-BOY LIKES MY PRESENT!!!

Z: *sighs* Who's next??

To Be Continued…

NOTE: Furby and FF8 belong to their respective owners……didn't want to say anything about Furbies before you got to read the fic. The next part WILL be up soon…


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